


Not This One

by AnnieJ



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, M/M, Mutual Pining, just confusion, no angst i guess, roommates!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 14:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15074891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieJ/pseuds/AnnieJ
Summary: Mark saw Donghyuck kissing a girl and he’s a mess after that.-Roommate!au where Mark is pining very hard over Donghyuck and it goes a little messy after that.





	Not This One

**Author's Note:**

> im drunk again so i wrote this. i hope you’ll enjoy it bcs it was fun to write! 
> 
> (even though i got like a morning class in like... 2 hours.)
> 
> xx

Mark never said anything, even when he saw Donghyuck kissing the girl on the other night.

 

He should feel happy.  
Or at least proud because now his bestfriend finally got a girl to take home.

 

He should feel anything other than _this._

But his skin is sweating and he feels like he’s burning everywhere. His body aches. His heart swells. 

He is really fucked, he knows this.

In the end, Mark didn’t get any sleep last night. His eyes burns from all the staring he did to the ceiling above him and his headache is seriously starting to kill him.

_This must be a joke._

The world must’ve hated him that much. Mark wants to laugh at himself.

-

In the end, Donghyuck must’ve gone to the girl’s place because the house is empty at 7 am. Mark wants to die.

It’s not even a good morning, the sky is pouring and the sound is too loud in this house alone without Donghyuck, with the rain hitting the outside of his windows like they’re trying to get inside, to slap Mark right in the face. to laugh at Mark’s misery. to remind him of the truth that he’s been hiding for so long.

And even after a while, Mark is still standing there, in the middle of the small living room, looking up at the ceiling again because he believes that somehow the answers are there.

It sounds so stupid.  
Mark keeps on doing it.

The door is slammed open and now Mark could see a tiny, wet Donghyuck standing in front of him. His hair is sticking to his forehead and somehow he’s wearing a see-through shirt that Mark knows doesn’t belong to him. 

The world is seriously playing a joke on him right now.

“Hey, why are you already awake at this hour? It’s Sunday.” Donghyuck asks without looking at him while shaking his head, splattering water to the carpet and the walls around him.

 _Huh, i wonder what my reason is_  
Mark jokes to himself and he chuckles a bit, finding Donghyuck looking at him with a confused face.

“No reason.” Mark chokes the answer after he finds that he’s so fucking weak when he looks at the wet shirt that Donghyuck is wearing.

It’s white. And soaked.  
His golden brown skin peeks through.

The moles that complemented his body are there to show. Mark could count it. He remembers it.

He’s really a fucking joke to the universe.

“Okay, whatever. Do you want breakfast? i’ll make you one”  
Donghyuck goes to the kitchen anyway without Mark answering. Pulling kimchi and other things out of the refrigerator. 

Mark is still glued to the floor.  
_Will he stops doing this after he dates the girl?_  
He looks at the younger boy again, now with his back at his direction. Donghyuck’s humming a song Mark sure is his favorite morning song, and he wonders again if he would stop hearing it after he starts dating.

Mark would give everything if it means that he would not lose it.

Donghyuck finishes after a while and Mark’s still in the same position.

“What the hell, hyung? why are you stuck there? come here. i made you kimchi soup because you look a little tired. I made some eggs too because i know you like eggs in the morning.”  
Donghyuck puts the plates on the table, he’s still wearing a wet shirt. Mark wants to cry.

He finally moves to the table, and Donghyuck sits beside him. He could feel the heat coming from beside him. Even in his wet clothes, the boy still radiate warmth.

“Hyuck-ah... your clothes.” Mark finally says after a spoon or two because it’s really distracting. He can’t eat like this.

“ah, i just remembered. Sorry, i’ll take it off.”

Fuck. Donghyuck takes his shirts off and now he’s half naked beside Mark. Moles all there to view. to count on. too kiss.

Mark skin burns.

It should feel normal, really. He does this all the time anyway. They’re _roomates_ , for God’s sake. Mark shouldn’t be embarrassed like this.

It really shouldn’t bother him that much and he starts eating again, trying to keep his focus to the (fucking delicious) food in front of him, but then he remembers last night.

The girl’s hands on Donghyuck’s skin. Caressing his abs. Pulling him closer. Breathing him in, in, in.

The food tastes bitter now in his mouth.

-

Donghyuck finishes the meal first, excusing himself to finally get some sleep. The implication of him not getting any sleep last night makes Mark heart swells and swells and swells until it is nothing anymore. Mark should get a record for how many times the universe has fucked him up.  
He should get a reward for this, honestly.

The clock is ticking and somehow Mark tries to listen to it carefully, like maybe, after a while, he’ll realize that time isn’t really real, and he could go back to that night and never see Donghyuck’s hands all over the girl’s body. He wants to go back, or drift away. Anything other than this, _please_.

The rain is louder now, and it feels like they’re laughing a lot louder, making Mark wants to curse at his own imagination.  
He wants to scream _shut the fuck up_ but he knows that he’ll never win. Not even to himself anyway.

He’s always going to lose. Even in his own fucking story.

How he got here, he never knows. Maybe it’s from all the touches Donghyuck always gives to him. 

One day it’s just friends hugging, friends cuddling, friends being _friends_.  
But then one night, they’re both drunk to their senses and Donghyuck hands linger for too long on his neck. Mark got his eyes closed. He never really got the courage to open them.

Maybe it’s the way the younger boy stupidly cares too much for him. One day it’s just breakfast in the morning, the kitchen smelling a lot like _home_. But then one morning, Mark got sick at 3 am, throwing up all over his own freaking bedroom, and Donghyuck panicked. Ran all the way to the 24 hour-store to buy medicines. Mark thanked him for being a good friend and a good roommate and then Mark slept for a bit. When he opened his eyes to a nice smell, Donghyuck was sitting beside him, in his pajamas, with his hair all tangled from sleep. He got a plate on his hands and turns out, it was porridge. Donghyuck told Mark _sorry if it was bad, i made it myself_. Mark remembers that if he didn’t felt like he was dying that moment, he would’ve kissed the boy. would’ve cried in front of him.

Maybe it’s that. And everything else.

-

It’s 2 pm in the afternoon when Mark finds himself on the sofa, all tangled in Donghyuck’s blanket.

He must’ve fallen asleep somewhere between figuring himself out.

The sky is a lot brighter now, yet it still feels like a mock to him. Maybe he’s just bitter.

There’s a soft melody coming from Donghyuck’s room. And Mark smiles, trying to listen better at it. Until he could hear another voice, feminine, with giggles too familiar in his ears.

 _Must be a dream_ , Mark thought, but the giggles is getting louder and now Donghyuck is laughing too, it’s loud like he just got to hear the funniest joke ever and Mark already feels too jealous. Making Donghyuck laugh like that is a challenge for him. How can this girl do it so easily?

He tries to drift back to sleep.  
Doesn’t really work that well.

And now Mark could feel it again, the way his skin burns and his body aches all over, so he leaves the house. Making sure he closes the door soundly. Not wanting to disturb Donghyuck. Not trying to drop his feelings onto the floor and see it spatter all over.

 

-

 

Mark came home at 7 pm after meeting Renjun and his new boyfriends Jeno and Jaemin. His bestfriends still looked the same, except _happier_. Mark wonders if Donghyuck would look like that too if he starts dating.

He suddenly feels terrible for wanting Donghyuck for himself. All this time, he could be like this with his girlfriend. Going out instead of staying in and taking care of Mark like he’s a baby, leaving until mornings instead of coming back home at 8 pm to make dinner. Having fun. For himself.

Mark feels like shit, honestly. He feels like a burden to Donghyuck. He doesn’t deserve him.

He’s a mess.

He calls on Donghyuck to apologize. There’s no answer.

Really, a mess.

-

The door slams open when Mark tries to take a juice from the refrigerator. There’s a very drunk looking Donghyuck stumbling to get in. He probably doesn’t see Mark because he curses at himself and he tries to throw his shoes away as far as possible.

Mark’s standing there in his towel amused because he knows that drunk Donghyuck is pretty entertaining to watch.

When he moves again, Donghyuck slips a little and curses again, presumably to the potted plant next to him. Mark chuckles. The room is dark for drunk Donghyuck to see him.

And when the second time Donghyuck tries to move again, he falls, and Mark is fast enough to catch him.

“..Ah, fuck. Hyuck-ah, what the hell?” Mark asks the younger boy even though he knows that Donghyuck couldn’t answer him on his right mind.

He doesn’t answer him, like he expected. But Donghyuck tries to move a little to look at Mark and then he smiles. All teeth and eyes too fond. His body is too close and Mark’s not wearing much. He’s wearing _nothing_ actually. Mark body shivers from the way their skin is touching.

“Ah, Hyung. You’re here. I miss you. You look tired today, why did you leave the house? I miss you.”  
Donghyuck cheeks turns a bit pink and Mark almost has a courage to kiss him all over.

Even in his drunken state, Donghyuck is still trying to take care of him.

The universe is too good at making his heart clench. He should give it an applause.

“I’m okay, Hyuck-ah, just lack of sleep. I’m home now.”

Donghyuck scrunches his nose, moving his hand to caress Mark’s torso. It’s skin on skin on skin and _fuck,_ it burns.

“you look skinnier now, Hyung. You should eat more. I should really cook more for you.”  
He sighs, putting his head on Mark’s shoulder. Mark still shivers.

It’s quiet now. Mark’s not replying to whatever Donghyuck is saying because it’s _too much_. Too much for him to bear.

He looks up again to the ceiling while stroking Donghyuck’s back, trying to find answers. Trying to find words to say.

Mark suddenly have so much things to tell the younger boy. 

So he opens his mouth to speak, or whisper, and he’s thankful that Donghyuck won’t remember it in the morning like he always does.

“Hyuck-ah, stop taking care of me please. I’m older than you. I should be the one that’s taking care of you. You should stop cooking for me, you know. Come home late, have fun with your friends, don’t come back in the morning to cook me some breakfast. Date the girl you always wanted. Be happier, hyuck, _please_.”  
Mark shoves the words out before he cries, and he finds Donghyuck trying to get up.

He looks disheartened, sad, broken. Mark wants to pull him back in.

“What the fuck, Hyung? Are you fucking serious?” He cries. Tears filling his eyes, looking a lot more sober than he did a while ago.

“I just want you to be happy, Hyuck. You always care too much about me.” Mark tries to speak out.

“Are you fucking joking, Hyung? Do you think i’m not happy when i’m at home with you? Do you think i’m a bother?”  
Donghyuck is crying now and Mark panics, not knowing what to do.

“No, no, not that, Hyuck. But you should get out more, with your girlfriend, and you don’t have to come home every night, every morning like you did today. You should’ve just stayed in with your girlfriend.”

The other boy looks baffled, like he couldn’t believe what he’s hearing.  
“The fuck, Hyung? She’s not my girlfriend—fuck, i don’t even like girls. She’s a _friend_. She drunk kissed me that night and i turned her down. I was taking her home because she insists on staying for the night and i don’t want that, so i took her home and she puked on me so she gave me another shirt to put on, and then i went home to fucking see _you_ again. To make you breakfast because you always skips one. Because you are having a tough week of finals. And seriously Hyung, do you even bother to fucking ask before you jump into conclusions? I do these things because i genuinely care for you. I love doing this things, Hyung. It makes me happy. I swear it does.”  
Donghyuck looks so _hurt_ , Mark wants to cry too. What the fuck is wrong with him? why didn’t he see this? why didn’t he realize everything? Donghyuck never talked about girls, never shown interest. Yet Mark jumps into conclusion. Never listened to Donghyuck first before doing so.

 

He’s wrong and he knows he needs to apologize, so Mark pulls the younger boy into a hug. Pressing his nose on Donghyuck’s shoulder. The younger boy shivers a little. Skin burning a little bit more.

“I’m sorry, Hyuck-ah, I’m really sorry. It’s just you’re taking care of me so much i’m afraid that you’re not really living your life. I’m afraid that i’m a burden for you. It’s all my fault. Hyung’s sorry.”

Donghyuck pulls Mark a little bit closer. Mark is still only wearing a towel and everything is too cold, too hot at the same time.

“Hyung, why do you give yourself so little credit than you deserve? you’re taking of me too. Always staying beside me when i’m drunk, sick or even _sad_. You buy groceries and always puts my favorite things on the cart. You sometimes came back home from school with my favorite desserts and things that reminded you of me. You always picked me up when i got black out drunk at 2 am. Hyung, can’t you see? you’re taking care of me too.”

This is too much for Mark to hear. He doesn’t realize things. Never seen anything with the both of his eyes. Always missing something out.

It’s too much. Mark lost his senses for a second and he pulls Donghyuck face to his, pressing his lips on Donghyuck’s, finally kissing him after wanting it for _so long_. And fuck, Donghyuck is kissing him back and it’s all Mark ever wanted and more, more, many more.

Donghyuck pushes Mark to the wall behind him and Mark curses out loud. Lips still pressed on the other’s. Never wanting it to part for too long. It’s too much. A lot. Mark wants more.

 _I love you, Hyuck-ah_ , Mark says between the kisses, just breaths and barely a whisper but Donghyuck kisses him deeper after that, answering it back without getting a word out.

They kiss for so long until they’re both gasping for air, and Donghyuck presses his forehead to Mark’s. Eyes closed. Lips aching to be touched again.

“Took you so long.” Donghyuck says, then kisses Mark once again.

Mark laughs.

Now, he wants to give the universe a middle finger.  
He’s not losing this one.

-

(They sleep next to each other that night. Limbs tangled to each other. Skin on skin on skin. Warmer. At home.

In the morning, Mark woke up to and empty bed and he heard the song again. He’s sure he would keep on hearing it now.

Mark kissed Donghyuck’s ear and the younger boy blushed at him. Cheeks pink. And Mark kissed it all over.

He looked embarrassed, a little awkward, but somewhat _happier._

Yes, definitely happier.)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it. If you did, please kindly leave kudos and comments for me to read! i love you guys! xxx
> 
> i just joined [twitter](https://twitter.com/haechan_a), hit me up there and lets cry about NCT together ;)


End file.
